Heero's Life
by Zeroofthedragons
Summary: Quatre just brought home the groceries, Heero has a fight with cupboard doors, Duo gets dog-piled, hints of yaoi. All what pixy stix can do to the Perfect Soldier...
1. Attack of the cupboard doors

Heero's World  
  
"I'm back!" Quatre called, walking into the house he and his fellow ex-pilots shared.  
  
Trowa walked to the top of the stairs to greet him. "Welcome back, Quatre!" He quickly closed the distance between them. "Need any help with the groceries?"  
  
"No, but thanks, Trowa." Quatre shifted the two large bags he held. "Could you do me a favor, though? Keep Duo away until I can set these down..." Quatre walked towards the kitchen, Trowa following close behind.  
  
"COOKIES!!!" a very bouncy braided ex-pilot hoped down the stairs, landing on his hands and knees. Instead of getting up, he zoomed towards Quatre but was lifted off the ground but his shirt collar. He turned, trying to see who his attacker was.  
  
A green eye stared into his own blue ones.  
  
"Leave Quatre alone until he can set those down, Duo," his captor said. Duo, taking that as a threat, struggled out of Trowa's grasp and dashed back up the stairs, slamming the door to the room he and Heero shared.  
  
"He's after me! You shouldda seen the look in his eye! I mean, it was TERRIBLE! Like...like he wanted to rip me apart and...stuff." Duo hide behind Heero, who was sitting on the bed reading a book.  
  
Heero shut the thick novel with a snap and turned to his friend. "Duo, Trowa is not out to get you."  
  
"But you weren't THERE! You'da seen it..." Duo shuddered dramatically.  
  
Heero sighed and pulled Duo around in front of him. 'Duo, am I out to get you?"  
  
Duo shook his head.  
  
"I'd be the one out to get you if anyone. Unless," Heero looked at Duo with one eyebrow raised, "You took one of his cupcakes?"  
  
Duo thought for a moment, and then shook his head.  
  
Heero took Duo in his lap and looked into his eyes. "Good. Now, are you going to be a good Shinigami and stay out of Trowa's way?"  
  
Duo nodded, staring up at Heero. Heero repeated his 'good' comment and stood, dropping Duo. From the floor, Duo scowled up at Heero and stood.  
  
"That wasn't very nice, Yuy."  
  
Heero smirked and walked out of the room, shutting the door behind him. Duo strode over to the door and tried to turn the handle. But it was stuck. "HEERO!" Duo started pounding on the door, annoyed.  
  
Heero opened the door when he heard his name, and had to step back to avoid being squashed by Duo Maxwell. "Hey, watch it!"  
  
Duo puffed up and glared at Heero. Heero stared back, unphased by Duos glare. Duo started to turn different colors and Heero finally said something.  
  
"Duo, you're about to blow..."  
  
Duo turned blue, then purple, then he exhaled in Heero's face. Heero shut his eyes and tilted his head down, his hair blowing in all different directions.  
  
"Duo, you ever heard of a breath mint?"  
  
Duo looked at Heero, gulping in air trying to make up for lost oxygen. "Nope, can I eat it?"  
  
Heero sighed and decided not to reply. He turned and started down the stairs when he felt a familiar weight jump onto his back.  
  
"Duo, get off."  
  
"No."  
  
"Don't make me come back there..."  
  
"What'cha gonna do bout it?"  
  
Heero sighed again and walked out into the kitchen. He stopped right where he was and sniffed. Duo fell to the floor with a "thump" and cursed, but Heero followed the heavenly smell. It smelled like...like...like sugar.  
  
Heero came to a set of cupboard doors. These two pieces of wood stood between him and his favorite snack...they would be dealt with mercilessly.  
  
Heero used his death glare against them. They didn't move. He tried it again. They stood firm.  
  
"So, it's gonna be like that, eh?" He cracked his knuckles and flexed his wrist. He looked ready to pound the two doors into the next solar system. Duo covered his eyes and managed to peek out every few seconds.  
  
Instead of blowing the doors off, Heero calmly reached over and took the knob in his hand. It felt cool, like any other knob left alone would feel like. But this one was different. This one stood between Heero and something he'd gotten a strong taste for.  
  
Heero pulled.  
  
The door remained closed.  
  
He pulled with both hands.  
  
The door remained closed.  
  
Heero growled at it.  
  
The door remained closed.  
  
Heero was glaring something awful at it as Quatre entered the room. Quatre, oblivious to Heero's antics and Duo's fears, walked over to the cupboard. He muttered a quick "excuse me, Heero" and opened the door. He pulled out a bag and shut the door. Quatre nodded at Heero and left the room.  
  
Heero smirked at the cupboard doors. Quatre had just opened them. Heero grabbed the handle again and pulled.  
  
They didn't move.  
  
Heero left the room and returned with a chain saw. He started it and tried to saw the doors off.  
  
They didn't move.  
  
Heero tossed the saw aside and got his gun, planning to blow them off.  
  
They didn't move.  
  
Heero got a pair of scissors and tried to cut them off.  
  
They didn't move.  
  
Heero got a pair of Quatre's pink bunny slippers-Quatre had had an obsession with pink bunnies a few weeks ago.  
  
They didn't move. And the bunnies wouldn't stop staring at Heero.  
  
Heero tossed the slippers under the table and left, returning with Wing Zero, back from the dead. Zero powered up and used every single attack it could against the doors.  
  
They didn't move.  
  
Heero was about to give up when he had an idea.  
  
"Duo, come over here and open these doors!"  
  
Duo stood and walked over. He placed one hand on one handle and pulled almost effortlessly.  
  
"Thank you." Heero searched around inside for a moment and withdrew his hand, holding two pink sticks. "GOT'EM!"  
  
Duo looked up at Heero with the cutest, most innocent puppy dog eyes.  
  
Heero glared, but couldn't resist. He handed one over to Duo. Duo grabbed it, then slipped around Heero and grabbed the other one. He turned and high- tailed it out of there.  
  
Heero dashed after him. He made a grab for Duo's long, chestnut-colored braid as he slid under a coffee table and missed. Duo jumped on the couch, where Trowa was reading the newspaper and Quatre was just sitting, eating cookies, and staring at Trowa.  
  
Quatre jumped up when Duo charged through and scooted closer to Trowa when Heero followed. Trowa didn't do anything until Duo slipped and ripped the newspaper in two.  
  
"Alright, you're asking for it!" Trowa got up and tackled Duo, just as Heero ran was about to tackle him. They landed in a pile, Heero on top. He leaned over and took the stix from Duo. "Thank you very much."  
  
Heero ripped open the top of one pixy stick and poured the powder in. Trowa grunted, annoyed at the position Heero had assumed- Indian-style right on Trowa's back.  
  
Heero licked his lips of any sugar and started on the other one. Duo heard it and whimpered. Heero ignored him and finished his treat. He hoped down and sat next to Quatre on the couch.  
  
"Yes, Heero?"  
  
"Quatre, we need to go shopping..."  
  
"As long as you buy, I'm going broke! Heero, that was the fourth pack this week! With sixty in each pack as well!"  
  
Heero squirmed, uneasy at being scolded in such a way. "Ok, can we go tomorrow?"  
  
~~~~~~~~~End~~~~~~~  
  
Zero: I'm thinking about continuing this.. maybe adding some yaoi? What do you pplz think? REVIEW ^^ 


	2. Heero and the Chocolatecovered Maxwell

Zero: thank you for the reviews! I'll do some yaoi, but not too extreme or anything, incase Mother-person gets a hold of it (she don't know I know about this stuff and she's not a fan of it.....)  
  
Heero's World  
  
Heero opened the door and entered the 'house' the five ex-gundam pilots shared. In his arms, he carried several plastic bags of the normal groceries, but two whole bags had his and Duo's stock of sugar; frosting, regular sugar, sugar cookies, chocolate, gum, and, of course, pixy stix.  
  
Quatre was right behind him, carrying nothing even though it had been he who had gotten the regular junk. Heero didn't care on way or the other, as long as he got his sugar.  
  
Trowa was at the door as soon as he saw they were back. He took two bags, both without sugar in them, and took them to the kitchen to put away. Wufei too came out to help put the regular groceries. But Duo was nowhere to be found.  
  
Heero entered the kitchen and was beginning to set the non-sugar bag (the only one that was left) on the counter when he stopped. Someone had sugar out; he could smell it. He turned slowly and was met by a chocolate-covered Duo, who was peering over his shoulder.  
  
"What'cha doin', Hee-chan?" Duo asked.  
  
"Was starting to put away the junk Q got...what have you been up to?"  
  
Duo grinned. "Getting messy is my middle name!"  
  
Heero smirked and stepped towards Duo, who backed up a step. "What happened to Death being your middle name?"  
  
Duo nodded. "That too!" He poked Heero with a chocolate-covered finger. Heero watched the action, and then licked the chocolate off his own arm.  
  
Duo's grin widened and he smeared some across his friend's cheek, where he was sure he couldn't reach. Heero attempted to lick it off, but his tongue wouldn't reach, so he just did the next best thing. He grabbed Duo's hand and licked the chocolate off.  
  
Duo laughed. "Stop that, Hee-chan! That tickles!"  
  
But Heero didn't stop until Duo's right hand was completely clean of chocolate. Duo was still having fits of laughter when Duo swung his left hand over to hit Heero, who dodged and grabbed that hand as well and began cleaning those fingers.  
  
Duo was laughing so hard, he was near tears. Trowa seemed not to notice, as he had dragged Quatre out of the kitchen. Wufei was trapped; he did not want to hang around with a chocolate-hungry Heero and he did not want to accidentally come across Quatre and Trowa. So he did the next best thing and curled up under the table with a good book.  
  
Once Heero finished the left hand, he let go. Once free, Duo ran to the fridge and pulled out the whip-cream and started spraying Heero. Heero blinked at him, licking off what he could reach. Duo was laughing at the now-white Heero Yuy so hard he had to shut his eyes.  
  
He didn't know what hit him, but all of a sudden, he was on the floor, pinned down by something strong. Then he was being licked all over.  
  
He opened his eyes to see Heero licking the remaining chocolate off him. He giggled as Heero started a trail down his neck.  
  
Duo returned the cleaning, licking the cream off Heero's face.  
  
Duo was about to start on Heero's shoulder when Heero hooked his finger under his chin and brought his face back up.  
  
"Did you plan this?" He asked softly.  
  
Duo blushed. "Yeah, but not on how good it was going to go..."  
  
Heero merely grinned. Duo couldn't resist and grinned back, but his grin turned from what it was to a look of shock. Heero had leaned over and planted a soft kiss on Duo's lips.  
  
Duo blinked as Heero pulled back. "What was that for?"  
  
Heero only smirked and reached up on the counter behind him. Duo stared at him, his tongue darting out to lick his lips.  
  
Heero pull a bottle down from a bag and took the cap off, pulling the second cap up and squeezing some of the contents into his mouth. Then he aimed the bottle at Duo and squeezed it again. Duo closed his eyes instinctively and was soon covered in chocolate syrup. Heero smirked and wiped some off with his finger, then examined it closely.  
  
"What're you doing?" Duo asked, finally finding his voice.  
  
"Thinking," Heero replied simply. The he got up and dug through a bag. Finding what he wanted, he ripped the top off and tested the colored sugar in it. Turning, he dumped the sugar on the once again chocolate-covered Duo. Duo tried to catch some with his mouth, but it was empty before he'd moved.  
  
"Now, the finishing touch..."Heero muttered, opening the fridge door. He picked up a box and opened it. He took out a single red cherry and set it on Duo's head before putting the box back in.  
  
"Perfect!" he said, standing back to look at Duo. Duo was covered in chocolate with pink sugar covering the brown mess. A cherry sat proudly on his once chestnut colored head.  
  
Heero was pretending to take a picture when Duo suddenly jumped up, upsetting a pile of sugar. Heero looked at him, then turned and high-tailed it out of the kitchen, Duo hot on his heels.  
  
"Heero! Come gimme a hug! We're friends, right?" Duo called after him.  
  
Heero jumped over the couch and hid behind it. Duo followed, but landed two feet away from his prey. Heero took the opportunity to run again and made it up to their room before Duo had gotten up. Duo, however, sprinted up the stairs and burst into the room before Heero could lock the door.  
  
"Hehehehe, got'cha now, Hee-chan." Duo pounced, shoving him onto the bed.  
  
*Downstairs...*  
  
Wufei finished the book and stretched. He yawned and slid out from under the table. "MAXWELL! YUY! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY KITCHEN?!"  
  
But no one heard the distressed man.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~End  
  
Zero: that sucked...I think. I haven't been able to write anything funny...always depressed bout something *shrugs* well, my first yaoi! How was it? REVIEW, please! 


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